


I Don't Think You Can

by PorcupineGirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Her quotes sound even goofier outside of canon context, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Non-Consensual Kissing, Vodka Aunt Amara, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 02:05:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7825978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PorcupineGirl/pseuds/PorcupineGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dean prepared to meet Castiel's extended family at his brother Michael's wedding, he knew to be ready for ultra-conservative religious nutjobs. He was not ready for Cas's Aunt Amara.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Think You Can

**Author's Note:**

> Somehow this fic is [Riley's](http://archiveofourown.org/users/rileybrennan) fault - I don't remember why, just that it _is_.
> 
> This started out as an excuse to write Vodka Aunt Amara hitting on Dean, and then somehow it also became schmoopy fluff.
> 
> This is also my first foray into writing fic on my phone. :P The first 3/4 was written mostly on the DC Metro while I was there for a conference back in April. Then this week my brain was like "Tropefest? Who needs Tropefest? Let's finish that Aunt Amara fic you didn't think you were ever actually going to post!"
> 
> Title is from [You Ain't Woman Enough (To Take My Man)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_wwP8UZR1o) by Loretta Lynn - watch the video, I absolutely love the shit-eating grin she's got on the entire time.

Dean adjusted his tie yet again. Maybe the dark grey one would go better with his suit?

"That tie is fine."

Castiel's arms wrapped around him from behind, one hand smoothing the tie down while the other gripped his waist. His boyfriend's face appeared in the mirror next to his.

"You sure? You don't think-"

"I don't think whatever it is you're worrying about is a problem," Cas cut him off. "You look gorgeous. You could go to this wedding in a tutu and you'd still have to beat off all the single bridesmaids with a stick."

Dean snorted. "Like I'd have the chance. You'll smite any girl who so much as looks at me."

"Maybe." Dean sucked in a breath as Cas's lips tickled the side is his neck, feather-light. "Or maybe I like watching you shoot down women." His teeth joined in, just barely scraping Dean's skin. "Maybe I like hearing you tell them you're already mine."

Dean let out a soft groan. "Cas, unless you're gonna blow me in the next five minutes, you better cut it out. The last thing I need is a tent in my pants when I meet your extended family."

Cas chuckled, but backed off.

"We do need to get going," he allowed, "which is why it's time for you to accept that you look incredible and stop fussing with details."

Dean sighed, but followed Cas out of the room.

In the year and a half they'd been dating, he'd met Cas's parents and siblings. Anna was cool; now that they lived together she was at their place at least once a week. Gabe could be fun, but sometimes he was a bit much. Michael, the oldest, was standoffish but not usually an outright asshole, and it was his wedding they were headed to.

This would be Dean's first adventure with the whole Shurley-Milton clan, though. He'd spent a week going through old photos, memorizing names and relationships.

Cas's father's side was easy. One aunt, Amara. Born so long after Cas's father Chuck that she was younger than Michael, only a few years older than Dean and Cas. She was divorced with no children. She apparently had a tendency to blame her brother for all of her problems, so Castiel and his siblings rarely saw her. Nobody seemed to know if she was planning to show up at the wedding or not.

His mother's side was another story. Naomi was one of seven siblings, and each of them had at least one kid, all the way up to Raphael who had seven of his own. Castiel wasn't even entirely sure which cousins would be there, but Dean knew which ones mattered.

Balthazar was the one Cas was closest to - Naomi's brother had moved to the UK after college, so Balthazar was born there. But, probably just for the sake of doing the opposite of his father, he'd gone to college in the US, at the same school as Cas. They'd gotten close during college, and still Skyped regularly. the only reason Dean hadn't met him in person yet was that this would be his first time back in the US in three years.

The only other cousin Cas was actually in touch with was Hannah. Like Balthazar, she was an only child, but unlike him she'd grown up with Cas and his siblings. Dean had already met her a few times.

The rest were a mystery.

To add to the stress, Cas had never brought a guy to a family function before, and he knew some of his relatives likely wouldn't approve. They all knew he was gay—gossip travels in a large family—but knowing was one thing. Actually having to be civil to his boyfriend... well.

It would be an interesting evening, at least.

The ceremony was uneventful. Michael's fiancee, Lilith, was beautiful, of course. Even stoic Michael had tears in his eyes as they said their vows. Dean and Cas were sneaking glances at each other the whole time, both looking away shyly when they caught each other.

They hadn't talked about marriage yet, but now that they were living together it felt like an inevitability. At least, Dean sure hoped it was. He knew Cas was it for him—had known for a long time. Long before they'd moved in together, he'd woken up one morning with Cas in his bed, taken one look at the mess of dark hair nestled into his shoulder, and he'd just known. They'd only known each other for a few months, but Dean wanted to wake up like that every day for the rest of his life.

So the ceremony maybe had him a touch more emotional than most weddings would. He couldn't help imagining himself and Cas up there someday—maybe even someday soon—and when he caught sight of the look on Cas's face, he was pretty sure it wasn't just him.

Technically, Cas was part of the wedding party, having acted as an usher before joining Dean in the pews, so his presence was required for photos afterward.

"Go on ahead to the reception," he told Dean with a kiss to his cheek, "I'll ride with Gabe and Anna when we're done here."

The reception was at a nice banquet hall just a mile or so from the church, so Dean arrived fairly quickly. Unfortunately, he realized as he looked around, the only people he knew were currently still at the church for photos. He'd never met any of Michael's friends, and none of Cas's friends knew Michael well enough to be invited.

But there was an open bar, so all was not lost.

He got himself a tumbler of whiskey and sipped it as he surveyed the crowd. He thought about finding his and Cas's seats, but hardly anyone under the age of 65 was sitting down at the tables. He didn't want to look like any more of a loser than he already did.

He quickly realized, though, that an attractive young man leaning alone against a bar at a wedding reception, no ring on his finger, looks less like a loser and more like fresh meat.

The first girl who sidled up to him was way too young for him anyhow, so he wasn't even tempted to flirt with her for fun a little before shooting her down. As soon as she introduced herself as the maid of honor's little sister, his reply of "my boyfriend is the groom's brother" chased her right off.

A few minutes later, a dark-haired woman closer to his own age came up and ordered a rum and coke, then turned to him as she waited. She gave him a thoughtful once-over, which he acknowledged with a raised eyebrow. She was pretty hot; if Dean weren't spoken for he'd be interested, and he was sorry Cas wasn't there yet. The more Dean legitimately found someone attractive, the more he enjoyed staking his claim.

"Let me guess," she said, inching a little closer. "You're not really into weddings, and not even that close to the groom. The only reason you're here is to try to get a bridesmaid into bed."

Dean laughed. "Not quite. I'm not all that close to Michael, you did get that part."

"So you like weddings, then?"

"I got nothin' against weddings," he said, taking another drink. "I hear they got a damn good cake, and hey, free booze, right?"

Her drink arrived just then, and she saluted him with it.

"So you're all alone, but not looking to bed a bridesmaid?" She ran a finger down his arm. "Who exactly are you looking for, then?"

He couldn't help a smirk as he downed the last of his drink. She was laying it on a little thick, and he finally took pity on her.

"I'm flattered, but I ain't actually here alone."

She looked around pointedly, then raised an eyebrow.

"I'm with the groom's brother, he's off doing photos," he finally explained.

She balked. "What do you mean, you're with the groom's brother? I saw you check out my cleavage a minute ago. I can handle rejection, you know, you don't have to pretend to be gay."

This lady was seeming less attractive by the minute.

"I'm not gay," he said tersely. "I like guys, and I like girls, and I moved in with the groom's brother three months ago." When her face twisted in some combination of confusion and distaste, he couldn't help adding, "And no, we're not looking for a third tonight. But I appreciate your interest."

He pushed off the bar and wandered off, figuring he'd make a circuit of the room then maybe get another drink if that girl was gone when he got back. Hopefully Cas would be back soon.

He'd gotten halfway around the room when he stopped in a corner to look around and see if he could find Cas yet. Dean didn't see him or his siblings, but just as he was about to take off again another woman strode up to him.

She was tall and curvy, in a black dress with a neckline halfway down to her belly button. Her hair fell in golden brown waves around her face, and she gazed at Dean with large hazel eyes. She was certainly attractive, but there was something about her movements, the way she carried herself, that set Dean on edge. He was unsettled by the way she pinned him with her gaze.

"You were sitting with Castiel at the ceremony," she declared. Her voice was low and sultry, though the look on her face was more curious than seductive.

"Uh, yep," Dean confirmed. The longer she stared, the more uncomfortable he grew, until he suddenly connected her face to a photo he'd seen. "You're his aunt, right? Amara?"

"Yes." She came closer, until she was right up in his face. He stepped back, but he found himself against the wall before he could get far enough to feel comfortable. "Why were you sitting with him earlier?"

"Uh," he put out his hand for her to shake. "I'm his boyfriend. Dean. We, uh, I live with him?"

Amara looked at the hand he'd held out curiously for a few seconds, but then ignored it in favor of looking more closely at his face.

"His boyfriend," she murmured, pressing even closer. "Dean. My brother showed me a photograph of you. You're more beautiful in person."

Dean laughed nervously. "Uh, Cas sure seems to think so."

As much as she was freaking him out, she was also right up against him by that point, and some of his hormones were more concerned about the hot female body pressing into his than about how disturbing he found the occupant of that body. He started to sweat, and he knew his skin was flushed. It only got worse when she traced one finger down his cheek.

"You find me attractive as well," she noted, as though she were taking field notes on an alien species.

"You're very pretty," Dean said, cringing. He raised his hands against the wall, trying to make it very clear that he had no intention of touching her in return. It felt ridiculous, as if he were too weak to push one lady away from him, but he didn't really want everyone's first impression of him to be as the guy who beat up Cas's aunt. "And I am in love with your nephew."

Just then, he spied Cas crossing the room toward them. He sent him his best _dear god help me_ look, and Cas frowned in annoyance as he approached.

"Aunt Amara," he barked as soon as he was close enough, "why, exactly, are you accosting my boyfriend?"

But Amara didn't even turn her head, continuing her close inspection of Dean. Finally, Cas got close enough to tug her back by the shoulder.

"Amara." She finally looked at him, affronted at having been interrupted in the middle of some very important sexual harassment.

"He's attracted to me, Castiel," she said calmly. "He doesn't deny it."

"Yes, I'm sure he is, you're exactly his type." Cas continued to pull her away from Dean, who sagged against the wall in relief when she was no longer touching him. "Except for the fact that you're not me, which I'm afraid is going to be a problem."

Amara gave them both one last, long, probing look before finally striding away without another word. Dean sank into Cas's arms as she went.

"Jesus, you told me she was creepy but I wasn't expecting THAT," he muttered, his forehead on Cas's shoulder. "I didn't really want to get kicked out for assaulting your aunt, but if you hadn't shown up I woulda had to defend myself eventually."

Castiel chuckled. "I'm sorry about that. She used to do that sort of thing when we were younger as well. When they were in high school she actually did steal Michael's girlfriend."

"What the fuck?" Dean raised his head. "You never told me that. And she's invited to his wedding?"

Cas just shrugged. "It was a long time ago, and she's family. Blood is important to Michael, god knows why. None of the rest of us would invite half these people to any event we actually wanted to enjoy."

Cas took Dean's hand and led him to their table, where Anna and Gabriel were already sitting with their drinks. Dean was relieved to finally have familiar faces to cling to.

"Oh my god!" Anna exclaimed as Dean sat down next to her. "Was that what it looked like? Did Amara seriously try to get her claws in you?"

Dean snorted. "And here I thought it was your mom's side I had to watch out for."

"Oh, don't worry, you do," Gabe said with a grin.

"Shouldn't you be at the head table?" Cas squinted at his brother, who was a groomsman.

"Yeah, yeah." Gabe waved him away. "You know I can't stand Michael's frat bros. I'll head up there when the food is on its way. That way the sound of my own chewing will drown out their pretentious business talk."

They chatted for a few minutes, munching in the tray of h'ors d'oeuvres Gabe had swiped and put on their table. Everyone was still waiting for Michael and Lilith to finish their pictures. After a bit, Dean stood up.

"I'm gonna hit the bar. What can I get you guys?"

Anna asked for a glass of Pinot Grigio, and Gabe waggled his empty beer bottle in request for a replacement.

"I'll come with you," Cas said, standing up. Dean certainly wasn't going to complain, so they walked hand in hand up to the bar.

They were waiting for their orders when a loud, oily voice spoke up behind them.

"Castiel."

They turned around to find a man Dean recognized as one of Castel's two nastiest, most conservative uncles.

"Uncle Zachariah." Cas said diplomatically, slipping a protective hand over the small of Dean's back. "How are things at Sandover?"

"Oh, the usual." Zachariah smiled smugly, looking down his nose at them both. "Record profits, a healthy raise and a tidy end-of-year bonus. It's almost boring at this point." They didn't join in his smarmy laugh. "The Lord rewards those who live a moral life, Castiel. You might want to try it sometime." Zachariah's gaze sharpened as it cut to Dean.

Dean tensed his jaw, trying to tamp down on the barbs fighting their way out of his mouth. He'd agreed to let Cas handle this sort of thing. He'd let Dean know if he needed backup.

"You're right," Cas said blandly, picking up Anna's wine from the counter, "I've been working on avoiding avarice. I suppose you wouldn't have any advice on that, though."

Zachariah's face started to flush. "I cannot believe you would flaunt your disgusting lifestyle at a wedding of all places," he hissed. "No amount of activist judges giving unnatural relations like yours legal standing will change the fact that true marriage is a holy sacrament that perverts like you will never have access to."

The bartender had deposited three beers in the counter behind them by then, and Dean scooped them up to keep from punching this dick.

"Oh, don't worry," Castiel replied, his voice low and dangerous. "When I marry Dean, it won't damage the sanctity of your first two marriages. You've already seen to that. Watch out, though, it could tarnish things with Tiffany. If she's still around by then."

With that, he grabbed Dean by the elbow and started pulling him back to their table. Dean couldn't do much besides stare at his boyfriend with a goofy grin on his face. Under most circumstances, he'd be laughing at Zachariah's purple face as they left, but instead arousal at Cas's badassery was warring in his gut with something else entirely.

Unfortunately, they got back to their table just as Michael and Lilith were sitting down. Gabe grabbed his beer from Dean and headed up to the head table, and Dean and Cas sat down just as Michael's best man grabbed the microphone and started talking. Dean could hardly pay attention, though. He wondered how offended Naomi, who was now seated across from them, would be if he dragged her son to the men's room in the middle of the speeches. Cas, for his part, seemed totally unaware of the effect his words had had. He had no problem focusing on the stories of Michael and Lilith's five year courtship, while Dean couldn't take his eyes off Cas.

By the time people were done talking the food had arrived, and while they ate Dean was finally properly introduced to Balthazar, also at their table.

He didn't get a chance to say a private word to Cas until after the cake (which was, in fact, excellent), when people started gravitating toward the dance floor.

As they watched Michael and Lilith's first dance, Dean slipped his arms around Cas's waist from behind, resting his chin on Cas's shoulder.

"When you marry Dean, huh?" He murmured directly into Cas's ear. The blush that crept onto Cas's cheeks was adorable.

"You can't tell me you haven't thought about it." Cas turned his head to nuzzle at Dean's face as he spoke.

"'Course I've thought about it." Dean squeezed Cas's waist tighter, nosing behind his ear. "I think about it all the time, baby."

Other couples were filtering onto the dance floor by then. Cas turned around in Dean's arms and started gently guiding them toward it, as well. In a few seconds they were out there with Cas's parents and siblings and the wedding party, wrapped around each other and swaying to the music.

"You sounded pretty confident, though," Dean continued, not about to let this go. He grinned, their faces close enough that their noses brushed. "When, not if."

Cas smiled, looking suddenly shy. "I suppose I am reasonably confident. I hope I haven't spoken out of turn?"

Dean shook his head, unable to take his eyes off Cas's. They watched each other for a moment, so close, something building between them. Dean swallowed as he realized he was actually going to do it.

"Marry me." His voice wasn't quite a whisper, but over the music it might as well have been.

Cas's eyebrows twitched. "Really?" His voice was as soft as Dean's.

Dean nodded minutely. He didn't need to move much; even such a tiny shift made their skin brush so that the motion couldn't be ignored.

"Yeah. Really." This time, his voice _was_ nothing more than a breath, as his stomach clenched at the realization of what he'd just done. When Cas didn't reply for a few seconds, the clenching started to turn to ice—what if Cas had been joking?

"Of course I will marry you," Cas finally replied, nudging their faces together as his broke out in a grin that Dean mirrored.

They traded a few gentle kisses, nothing too heated in such a public setting. Dean tried not to think about the _epic_ sex they were going to have when they got home, or else he might not have been able to keep himself under control.

Although, when he caught the eye of Zachariah, who was dancing with his decades-younger wife, he did smirk and let his hand drift down to Cas's ass. It was worth it for the look of disgust and outrage on his uncle-in-law-to-be's face.

After a couple of songs, Castiel excused himself to use the restroom, so Dean went to dance with Anna for a bit.

"Uh, so, I think your brother and I just got engaged," he muttered, not looking at her.

"You think?" She looked at him skeptically. "You're not sure?"

"Well, I don't have a ring yet or anything, but, uh. I asked, and he said yes, so…"

Anna immediately pulled him into a tight hug.

"Don't tell Michael, but I am _so_ much more excited to have you as a brother-in-law than I am to have Lilith as a sister-in-law!" she squealed quietly into his ear.

"Not the highest bar," he muttered in reply. Lilith wasn't exactly popular among her new siblings-in-law, especially once she turned into a bridezilla.

They had just extracted themselves from the hug and gone back to dancing when there was a tap on Dean's shoulder. He turned and came face-to-face with an Amara who was smelling considerably drunker than the last time she'd accosted him.

She gazed at him for an uncomfortable moment before turning to Anna. "May I cut in?"

"Um…" Anna's eyes widened. She probably did not want Castiel to come back to discover she'd allowed their creepy aunt to get her claws into Dean again.

"Y'know, Cas is coming back from the bathroom any second now," Dean tried.

"No," Amara said immediately, her eyes boring into Dean's soul. "There is a long line for the men's room. I can have you all to myself for the rest of this song, at the very least. Hopefully longer, once you've come to see the error of your ways."

"Aunt Amara," Anna said through clenched teeth, "it's kind of rude to try and steal your nephew's _fiancé_ in public."

Amara glanced at Anna, eyes narrowed, but dismissed her niece as though Anna were an annoying fly.

"Dean," she said, inserting herself right in between he and Anna so that they had no choice but to separate, "I know you don't understand it yet, but you and I are bound. Your instinct is to resist, but I can't be resisted. I can tell you're as drawn to me as I am to you."

Dean had stepped back as soon as Amara had pressed herself between him and Anna, but every time he took a step back she took two forward. He raised his hands again, as he had when he was trapped against the wall, making it clear that he had no intention of touching her.

"Look, lady, you're hot, sure, but Cas is hotter. I'm in love with him, and I'm gonna marry him, so you should probably back the fuck off before you start some kind of family feud."

People around them on the dance floor were starting to notice the commotion. Dean heard murmurs, including one person tapping Anna on the arm and asking "Did he say he's going to marry Castiel?"

Amara swayed a little as she continued to stalk Dean, her voice getting louder as she went.

"You and I will be together. It’s so simple, Dean. We will become one. Why wouldn’t you want that?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Dean's hips hit a table, but Amara continued to advance on him. "Nobody's becoming one with anybody—"

Without warning, Amara grabbed Dean's face and kissed him. Dean froze for a few seconds, hands still in the air, eyes wide, unable to process the fact that this was actually happening.

Luckily, somebody pulled Amara off of him before she managed to get to second base without his permission. Dean saw that his savior was none other than Cas's father.

"Amara! What the hell are you doing to poor Dean?"

Amara's eyes crossed a little as she looked at her brother closely, but she turned back to Dean as Chuck tried to drag her away.

"Give up your smallness, Dean," she called out, "and become boundless within me!"

"What does that even _mean_ , Mar?" Chuck snapped at her. "I think you've had enough of those vodka martinis for tonight, I will not have you ruining my son's wedding by hitting on my other son's boyfriend."

"You're just threatened by me, you want to exile me—"

"Calling you a taxi is not _exiling you_ , why do you always have to be so dramatic…"

He continued lecturing his sister as he dragged her across the room, but Amara clearly wasn't listening. She was staring forlornly back at Dean, who was only getting even more skeeved out the longer she looked.

Just then, Cas appeared next to him.

"Oh no," Cas said, watching his father and aunt go. "Do I want to know what I missed?"

"Nope," Anna answered, glaring at Amara's retreating figure.

Dean slipped an arm around Cas's waist. "Babe, most of your family seems fine, but we are _not_ inviting Amara to our wedding, got it? I'd rather have Zachariah lecture me about what a pervert I am."

"Our wedding," Cas murmured, wrapping his arms around Dean. "I'm marrying a pervert."

Dean dropped a kiss on Cas's temple.

"Damn right you are."

**Author's Note:**

> [My Tumblr](http://porcupine-girl.tumblr.com).


End file.
